Coercive and Abusive Language

“Lie down there”, “oh it doesn’t hurt that much”
“Be quiet” “you’re not in labour” “listen to me”
“You have to let me examine you” “you might not like it but it’s how we do things” “it would hurt less if you stayed still”

After watching a popular docuseries (who’s name I won’t mention!) I’ve heard every one of these phrases from doctors and midwives when speaking to birthing people. And from clients after retelling their interactions with maternity services.

Don’t accept this language from anyone. You deserve to be treated with respect at all times but so much more so when you are bringing life into the world.
If you are a midwife or doctor who has repeated any of these phrases-f**k you!! Do better!!

So many birth stories I hear end with. “And baby wasn’t coming so I had to go to theatre or had to be coached to push”
Where were the midwives who know that lithotomy (lying flat on your back) is not an ideal position for most people to birth their babies. The pelvis is closed and the coccyx is in the way.
Why weren’t they encouraging positions to allow the pelvis to open and gravity to assist?
Is it fear? Is it laziness? Is it lack of education?
Who knows….but if you are ever in this situation, Before they bring out the forceps or scalpel. Try upright, forward, open positions.
And if you’ve had an epidural ask for support for these ❤